In Transition? Get a Vision of What Could Be to Leave What Has Been!

Are You Facing a Transition in Life?

We have been collecting data on our website about the frustration, dissatisfaction, pain and even fear of Christians. The #4 concern is facing a transition in life, so it is on the minds and hearts of lot of people. You may not be facing one yourself, but a friend or family member may be dealing with one or the prospects of one right now. The key is that you must have a vision of what life could be like after a change in order to leave what life has been like without that change.

There Are Two Kinds of Transitions: Forced and Needed

Examples of “Forced Transitions” would be death of a family member, fired from your job, empty nest, divorced by spouse, major illness, etc. These transitions are sudden and very painful, and there can be a great deal of grief involved. For that reason, we are going to defer to Christian Counselors to help in these situations. However, you will still be able to use some or all of what we have for you below.

Examples of “Needed Transitions” are job change, traditional “retirement”, relationship change, over commitment, getting out of a rut, or any behavior change that increases your growth in obeying God’s will for His glory. The uncertainty here is that we have some fear around what lies in our future, so we don’t take action to change – maybe just continue complaining.

Is There Fear?

For us to have a healthy and inspiring vision of what could be after some new behaviors, you have to address your fear. Fear happens to be the biggest demotivator of behavior change per Dr. BJ Fogg of Stanford University. He has a Behavior Lab and has been immersed in the study and research in the Behavior Field for 20 years. We can know what action we should take, but fear can hurt our motivation so much that we don’t have enough of it to act.

It’s time for the cerebral, Type-A’s to get real. Tracy, my business coach, admonished me in this way when she was talking to me about change. When experiencing something, our brains do a lot of mental gymnastics to help us rationalize what we are doing, especially stuff that is uncomfortable. She said that our bodies tell us the truth, more honestly, more quickly and more bluntly about how we are really feeling about something. We all know the queasy stomach feeling or the tight throat. Pay attention to what your body is telling you in the moment.

Can’t Steal Second Base with Your Foot on First

My father-in-law had an expression whenever somebody was reluctant to make a desirable change. He would say, “You can’t steal second base with your foot on first.” Unfortunately, there are so many of us who feel safer and unwilling to stretch to new plateaus of growth in God’s will. Do we really wonder where our frustration and dissatisfaction come from? It’s partly because we are not stretching to know He is with us.

Where Is the Fear?

I’m reading a book right now that is titled, When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man by Edward Welch. I’m not going to do the book justice, but our fear can be put in one of two categories: Fear of Man or Fear of God. Recognizing that either/or is a great starting point for dealing with fear. Are you more afraid of what others think of you than what God thinks of you? You need that answer now because so much is riding on it.

I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you, though. Per Dr. Fogg, the antecedent or opposite vector force to fear is hope. Well, my fellow Christian, we have something others don’t have to reduce or remove that fear. We have the living hope of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.

Psalm 118:6 – “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” This time on earth is not the main show, which changes a lot about our perspective of what matters in the temporary world in which we live.

1 Peter 1:3 – “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.” Since we have the promise of eternal life, we have an assurance that we will be with Him and His glory. Therefore, what do we really have to fear?

We have what we call here, “The Christian Advantage” which allows us to make more behavior changes because we have less fear than others, all other things being equal. We can strive for more growth in our obedience and behavior change for His glory.

Vision and Behavior Change

Now that we have made a bit of a dent in fear, we need to have an emotionally inspired vision of what life could be life if we made one or more changes. Let’s put some concreteness to the vision of what could be. For those of you who have been through the Unstatus Your Quo® Growth Plan, you know that you will need to put your vision and plan into the one-page Tiny Action Progress Path Tool.

For those of you who have not gone through the Experience, I will give you some help which I hope you will be able to implement in your life.

Seven Steps for Behavior Change

First, write down your dissatisfaction, frustration, pain, and fear. “When I walk into work, I have this sensation of dread overcoming me. My energy level takes a hit, and I must hit the coffee and talk myself into smiling.” I would not say this stuff outside your boss’ door.

These thoughts and feelings become more real when we get them out of our brains and on paper or say them out loud. Understanding both the source of the feelings and what they are is half the battle.

Second, accept where you really are on the man versus God fear front. If the former, you have some Bible studying to do or read the book I mentioned. If it is God, you are on the right track as long as you keep conversing and praying with Him.

Third, in one or two sentences, paint a picture in words of your ideal situation. “When I wake up in the morning, I am excited about how the Lord is going to use me at work today. He surprises me every day, and I’m so aware of His presence.”

Fourth, write down ten emotional descriptors of your life when the painted picture becomes a reality. “The day seems to go by so fast. I have great relationships with my co-workers. Morale is very high. I am really making a difference in the lives of people who use our services/products. My prayer life around work is so meaningful.” This part if very important. The living hope of Jesus and the emotional descriptors of your life will be the fuel for the behavior change journey.

Fifth, get an accountability partner. This addition is critical, and it needs to be somebody who can get in your face if needed.

Sixth, break the ultimate outcome into a series of tiny steps. Start with the tiniest, easiest first step you can take, and then build from there.

• “Add the career issue to my prayers.”
• “Take the Crown Ministries Career Direct Assessment for $80 to understand better where I fit in the work world.”  If interested in adding a coach, we have a Certified Career Coach rated 9.8 out of 10.0 as of the time of this blog. This assessment showed me I was in a career that was my 7^th choice for investigation. I have now combined my top two areas into one career!!
• “For the next two weeks, write down on separate pieces of paper the most fun and least fun parts of your job while paying attention to your body.” 😊

And take it from there until you get to your ideal job/career description.

Seventh, start implementing.

Conclusion

If the process above is making your body lose energy or brings some failure fear into the mix, you can check out our website for an easier way to do this. If you have any questions about this blog’s described process or anything else, please email us. We’ll be glad to help you get started on clarifying your purpose and taking action to fulfill it. It’s our ministry.

Charlie